Could I borrow one of your DVDs?

August 25th, 2008

Ummm well no actually.

I’m weird about it, I don’t even really like my DVDs in other people’s DVD players.

Anyone else feel funny about lending their DVDs, CDs etc out?

Popularity: 5% [?]

Categories: DVD | Tags: , , | 26 Comments

Someone made a mistake, someone made a big goddamn mistake

July 26th, 2008

Starship Troopers 3: Marauders is very much like a trooper with a faulty M1 tactical helmet, it just can’t seem to hit its mark.

Hey I’ve been working on that for almost twelve hours, cut me some slack.

I didn’t expect very much from this film, it’s a direct to DVD sequel to a direct to DVD sequel (yes the second Troopers film was a direct to DVD sequel, I know what page I’m on) and the film certainly didn’t even meet those fairly relaxed expectations.

Let me say though that I’m not basing this on the poor special effects, you work with what you’ve got and they didn’t seem to have a whole lot.   But I don’t judge on that, as I said I knew what I was getting into, direct to DVD movies do not get highly textured ILM graphics so I knew they were never going to be good.

No it’s the story and a lot of the acting that really drag this film down.   I love the first Troopers, the second one was extremely watchable given the established criteria so it’s not that I’m not enthusiastic.   Far from it, you wouldn’t know a guy happier to know that they were making another Troopers film…   Well maybe Casper Van Dien or Garth, probably Van Dien who I actually exchanged messages with several times before they began filming through myspace (yes I was on myspace, yes so was Van Dien, yes it was him).   He was very excited about the prospect and genuinely enthusiastic.

So I was more than a little let down by this, even more so since I thought Garth said that it was good (I misheard him, maybe I was censoring the truth, citizen style).

The acting is, with the exception of Van Dien really poor, I mean super, early 90s video game poor.   Dialogue that was already bad then delivered bad equals super bad.   Van Dien works with what he’s got, what does he do when the universe gives Johnny Rico lemons, he does nothing, he hates f*%#ing lemonade but does get to deliver the ‘come on you apes…’ line again.

Jolene Blalock (TPol without the pointy ears) is in the mix playing a pilot, kind of like a poor man’s Denise Richards, and no one wants to grow up to be a poor man’s Denise Richards.   She sounds like a Vulcan but she is no longer playing a Vulcan, I imagine she tried to do the best with what she had too, she just didn’t come off as well as Van Dien.

There are a whole bunch of other characters that quite frankly I could have done without, weak Generals, weird Sky Marshals, mentally challenged chefs, oddly angry engineers and naive religious girls.

This brings me to the next big problem, the ridiculous introduction of religion into the story, there is hymn singing, on your knees - hands together praying, a very stupid halo scene (not the cool halo, the angel halo), a representation of Mary and idiotic conversions to religion for idiotic reasons.   The commentary on religion in American society is clumsily inserted into the story using a sledgehammer and blowtorch.

And we now come to the next problem of which I lay most of the blame, the Director.   It’s the direction of the film that hurts it most and doesn’t even allow you to enjoy this on a cheesy b-grade scifi level.

I also can’t let you go before mentioning one last flaw, the subtle undermining of the gender equality presented by Verhoeven in the first film.   In the first Troopers, realistically or not, nudity between the sexes was completely neutral, they are all citizens and women are not objects they are equals, as I said they are simply citizens.

Not so in Troopers 3, we have suggestive lingering on women’s backsides and everyone takes a second look at Blalock because she is hot.   Like so much else in the film it just wasn’t necessary.

Look if you really love Starship Troopers then see it if only for Rico and maybe one or two interesting ideas, especially the Marauders.   If you only liked Starship Troopers and didn’t like its sequel you may want to avoid this and if you’ve never seen Starship Troopers, get the original out and avoid the third one at all costs.

PS At least I didn’t make a ‘Would you like to know more?‘ joke!

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Categories: DVD | Tags: , , , , , | 10 Comments