Remember, he’s better than you and I

October 2nd, 2008

I got the heads up over at slashfilm that Michael Bay is using Twitter and is writing some pretty funny stuff.  I used to be an apologist for Mr Bay (remember I like Armageddon, Con Air and The Rock) but then Transformers which I still refuse to discuss here… (you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry) came along and ruined my childhood memories.

But Michael does have a unique appeal, here are some samples:

I want to welcome all the new people who are following my updates and remind everyone that I am better than you in every possible way.

Didn’t finish my latte, because I put it in a bullhorn and hurled it at a runner. That works better than coffee anyway.

Ok, long day. I’m going to sleep well tonight. On a mattress made of money. Literally.

Shia is crying less today.

Shia cried more today. Especially compared to yesterday.

Took a meeting about Armageddon 2: Armageddoner. It’s a Go.

You can check out Michael Bay’s feed at http://twitter.com/michael_bay

You can check my feed out for a lot less laughs at http://twitter.com/leesargent

PS I know that’s not really Bay - but he’s bloody uncanny!

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Top five movie deaths

July 18th, 2008

A little morbid maybe but there is nothing like a cool movie death.   I’m not talking about gory horror movie deaths either, there are way too many of those imaginative ends for me to condense into a list of five.

Now I know this is going to stir up some debate, so bring it, throw some more movie deaths out there!   Grab yourself a tissue, pretend some dust got in your eye:

  1. Boromir: Lord of the Rings - I mean dude! For the briefest moment the greatest evil ever corrupts you so how do you redeem yourself?   Taking some mean looking arrows in the chest whilst protecting two hobbits (who probably should have run off).   It’s a majestic death that completely redeems the character.
  2. Spock: Wrath of Khan - The needs of the many outweighs the needs of the few… sniffle… I mean it’s really dusty in here man and I’ve got something in my eye.   You’re a cold bastard if you’re not moved by Spock sacrificing himself for the Enterprise, brilliantly executed (forgive the pun) sequence, possibly Shatner and Nimoy’s finest moments.
  3. Harry Stamper: Armageddon - Ok if we don’t set off the nuclear explosion in the next twelve minutes then it’s going to destroy the Earth but someone has to stay here and sacrifice themselves.   Let’s draw straws and then to hell with that Bruce Willis is going to take a dive.   He does have enough time to say goodbye to his daughter and make Ben Affleck cry… did I mention that there is something in my eye.
  4. Wash: Serenity - Nooooooo did you just see the Serenity crash and get all bashed up and stuff, OMG that poor ship, thank god everyone is OK and…   Arrrrrrrrrg   WHY!?!?   Curse you Whedon and your unexpected deaths!!
  5. Ripley: Alien 3 - If I’ve said it once I’ll say it a thousand times I’m not debating the value of Alien 3, I like it, I don’t have a problem with it (well the recut version anyway) and I think it’s quite the scene when Ripley falls backwards to her death while clutching the newly emerged alien queen.

So go on let me know your favourites!

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Top five end of the worlds

April 25th, 2008

Is it morbid to delight in watching the Earth burn? I don’t know, I do know however that it is Friday (in Australia) and that means that it is time for the Friday top five time.

Today we have the ‘it’s the end of the world’ top five:

The top five end of the world list

  1. ID4: Independence Day - Oh the complaints and the criticism that is directed at this film. From computer inaccuracies to the over abundance of America is cool’isms. I’m pretty certain that I’ve heard them all and you know what? I don’t care, this is an awesome ride of a film. Landmarks are destroyed, jet planes swarm and Data is a crazy scientist working in Area 51. I managed to see this on its opening night/morning (we caught the midnight premier) and it was a great experience with a bunch of people who were there to see a dumb popcorn film. I didn’t get to hear the end at the time because there was too much calling out and cheers when we got to see our very own Sydney Opera House with a downed mothership in the harbour.
  2. Armageddon - If ID4 is considered to be ‘often criticised’ then Armageddon is crucified! Oh and by the way I still don’t care LOL. Big freaking badass space shuttles, that’s what we’re talking about here. At any rate if you want someone to blow something up you go get Bruce Willis or Jack Bauer and since JB wasn’t invented then you go with BW. Another couple of wonderful landmark destruction sequences and what an awesome soundtrack.
  3. Mars Attacks - It’s not unusual to be loved by anyone. Essentially this film should have been called Tom Jones saves the world. It would be an inaccurate title but I still would have appreciated it. Any film that ends with Tom Jones emerging from a cave and declaring in one voice that it’s not unusual… is just plain brilliant and funny. This is a very uneven film but it has an amazing cast and some great visuals so it makes the list.
  4. Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea - OK this one is my wild card, it’s here because I dig submarines, big science fiction’y submarines and this one is pretty big, pretty cool and went on to be a standard of my childhood with its TV series later on. It’s a giant film for its time, directed by Irwin Allen and features Barbara Eden and Frankie Avalon as well as one of my favourite actors of the time Peter Lorre. It does feature a wonderful threat to the Earth, pesky meteors have slammed into the Van Allen Radiation belt and caused it to catch fire and this is heating up the Earth. Awesome.
  5. The Core - I have a love hate relationship with the Core, I love to hate it and it is so bloody awful it’s hilarious. When I grow up I want to be a terranaut. There’s very little in this film that’s plausible which is of course not the reason to watch a disaster film but really guys!? Earth core stops? I’m giggling just thinking about it and will probably watch it again this weekend whilst eating cheetos! Just keep reminding yourself that Hilary Swank is an Academy Award winner.

All I am grateful for this week is that Groundhog Day is not a film that features the almost destruction of the Earth unless you count the space time continuum… no it’s not on the list. I don’t want to hear about Deep Impact either, don’t even bother because you won’t convince me. There are reasons behind this that I’m sure if you did a search of the site you would find yourself but for marital harmony I refuse to bring it up.

The Day After Tomorrow certainly nearly made the list, as did War of the Worlds (original not the disaster of a film) and I haven’t watched Sunshine yet.

If you vaguely enjoy the Friday Top Five list why not stumble it or add it to your Facebook or whatever (there are icons below!).

Next week: Comic Book Movies - because we don’t argue enough!

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