Top five Fictional Men’s Men
October 26th, 2007
Askmen.com recently announced their manliest men of 2007 as voted by us the public. In all fairness to the poll it does try and quantify it’s results about why these men are listed and it’s not all about looks and pure manly bravado. The highest ranked man’s man then is David Beckham, soccer sensation and industry unto himself.
I don’t know, I’m really not that comfortable with David Beckham as the pinnacle of my gender. I mean he’s alright and all but I don’t know if I’d say he’s Clooney (the number one male last year, just going to show that Batman and Robin is not actually the most damnable offence after all).
But is it fair to try and place this crown of masculinity onto a mere mortal man? We all have flaws, some more than others and the concept of what makes a man a man is not an exact science although if you are the Dude the answer is simply ‘testicles’.
So instead of questioning the manliness of JT I thought I would offer up my own top five manly men of fiction list to give us all something to endeavour to. Obviously there are men missing from this list and you may not agree so you are welcome to suggest your own or leave a comment voicing your support for the ones I’ve listed.
- Captain James T Kirk
It would be hard to go past the man himself. He’s the ultimate take charge guy, he hates bureaucracy because it gives him a belly full, green chicks are ok, blowing up your own ship is a tactical move and God can go get his own damn starship. Two words: flying kick.
Quote: “KHAAAAAAAANN!!!!” - Ash Williams from the Evil Dead series
Being played by ‘the chin’ Bruce Campbell certainly doesn’t hurt, and with one liners such as ‘Hail to the king baby’ and ‘Groovy’ there is no way he can’t be on the list. By the way he has a shotgun, a chainsaw, quotes the Day the Earth Stood Still and has a day job where people treat him like crap.
Quote (so many to choose from): “This is my boomstick” - Harry Callahan of Dirty Harry
I mean a character played by Clint has to be in the top five and really, I don’t think it comes better than Harry. He hates punks and is happy to tell them. I wonder what he’d make of Emos? Oh and big gun, he does have a big gun but not because guns make you manly but when used properly can remove the fingerprints.
Quote: “Well I’m all broken up about that man’s rights.” - Jack Burton of Big Trouble in Little China
When the universe asks Jack Burton whether or not he’s paid his due, he answers yes sir the cheque is in the mail. With lightning reflexes when it comes to bottles being shot at his head and a mastery of disguise you could do much worse in a role model.
Quote: “Hey, I’m a reasonable guy. But I’ve just experienced some very unreasonable things.” - Jack Bauer of 24
Do I really need to quantify this? I don’t care how clever you are Jack will track you down, he will threaten to slice open your eye and he will get the information he needs. Killing him only makes him angry. Jack gets the job done.
Quote: “You probably don’t think that I can force this towel down your throat. But trust me, I can. All the way. Except I’d hold onto this one little bit at the end. When your stomach starts to digest it, I pull it out. Taking your stomach lining with it. For most people it would take about a week to die. It’s very painful.”
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[...] Check it out! While looking through the blogosphere we stumbled on an interesting post today.Here’s a quick excerpt what he d make of Emos? Oh and big gun, he does have a big gun but not because guns make you manly [...]
I am sort of torn on Dirty Harry… I’ve always been a Man with No Name kind of Guy.
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Jack Burton drives a big truck, too (and undoubtedly does cool things with it at the weekends)
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MC - I always imagined that I could gauge my ‘oldness’ factor by the style of Eastwood film that I currently craved. Wrongly so, I now think as I remember being stuck to the TV screen in a hotel room some years ago watching the Outlaw Josey Wales at which point I lamented that age had finally taken me.
I felt the western films were an older aged thing rather than the Dirty Harry films (which at one stage featured a Guns N Roses soundtrack) were ‘younger man’ cool.
That is until I watched A Fistful of Dollars and was a convert.
So yeah to be fair the man with no name could easily have been on this list - I could have also have swapped Jack Burton for Snake Plisskin too.
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John - He’s got a cool name for it too - The Porkchop Express - I mean I’m vegetarian and still love that name!
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I’ve always been a huge fan of Dirty Harry myself. Eastwood plays that character so well as well as many other characters.
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It’s hard to imagine anyone else playing Dirty Harry - I hope they never get it in their mind to do a remake!
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Woah woah woah! Where is John McClane at?
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Awww Guy it was a really hard decision and he was on the very short list!!
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