Seven wounds that time doesn’t heal

By Lee • April 8, 2008

Stupid saying time heals all wounds:

Having a large refrigerator filled with orange juice (in cartons not bottles) embed itself in your skull after it being pushed out of a forty second story window.
Being crushed by rampaging buffalo.
Being consumed by a ravenous BlugBlatter Beast of Trall.
Dropping in a vat of highly corrosive acid in the cargo hold of an aeroplane that’s engine has stalled and is crashing into a mountain.
Skull and spine removed by a Predator.
Lowered into molten lead.
Anvil dropped onto you whilst strapped to ACME rocket.

Whatever. My posts don’t HAVE to make sense!

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10 Responses to “Seven wounds that time doesn’t heal”

Arjan Apr 8th, 2008 at 10:13 pm

I disagree with nr 7 because it’s an acme rocket so that kinda means you are in the toon world. In the toon world people survive and heal from these wounds. They just die from green icky stuff.

Arjan’s last blog post..Yahtzee gaming reviewer
Lee Apr 8th, 2008 at 10:15 pm

Don’t be difficult
Bettina Apr 8th, 2008 at 10:48 pm

Listen… do you smell something?

Bettina’s last blog post..Screw Up Tuesday
Lee Apr 8th, 2008 at 10:56 pm

Somebody blows their nose and you want to keep it?
John Apr 9th, 2008 at 5:18 am

Actually, I’m with Arjan - being a toon is a good way of healing all wounds (there’s even probably a loophole for icky green stuff).

In fact, it means you can explore the bizarre misforyune of crashing into a tree, the tree falling off a cliff, the top of the cliff falling on you, etc…

then you can sit back and ponder the sheer scale of karmic misfortune in the next frame (merely a little dusty and frazzled-looking).

John’s last blog post..Pixie Pilot
John Apr 9th, 2008 at 5:20 am

And you can wonder how it changes from misforyune to misfortune in the space of a paragraph (in my world, Mr Burton, all things are possible)

John’s last blog post..Pixie Pilot
Ian Apr 9th, 2008 at 1:39 pm

8. Pressing the seat ejection button in a hellicopter in flight. Try healing from that!
Lee Apr 9th, 2008 at 3:34 pm

Mmmmmm that’s true - we now have a list of eight!
Jeff Apr 13th, 2008 at 10:55 am

Wait… didn’t Bond do that ejection thing in Goldeneye? I think we’re back to seven.

Jeff’s last blog post..Star Wars: A Cute Hope
Lee Apr 13th, 2008 at 4:06 pm

Mmmmmm Jeff I think you may be right - the blades blow off the chopper or something…? I might be thinking of a real demo actually.