Lame toys I own: AJ from Armageddon

closeA lot can happen in 8 months 20 days which is how old this post is! Enjoy the post but be sure to check out the new stuff too!!

Over the years I accumulated a lot of memorabilia some of it all shades of awesome and some it not so much.  Now as we dig through the boxes and shelves looking to rid our home of this “ahem” junk I’ve been more than a little surprised by some of it and how lame these tie ins are.

Obviously I question why I bought them in the first place but I’ve given up trying to make sense of this hoarding mentality.

Armageddon is one of my favourite films.

No I don’t care what you say.

Those space shuttles alone are worth the price of admission.

So you would think that I would have picked up the super brilliant cool X-71 model kits that I saw in The Daily Planet comic book store years and years and years ago.

Nope.

I bought an A.J. Frost from eBay some time later.  I still to this day kick myself for not getting one of those hullava awesome space shuttles but the bloody things are rarer than hen’s teeth nowadays. Although that being said I just headed over to eBay and see that there is one for sale right now.  If that Dan can get a Lego Millenium Falcon then surely I can convince my wife to get me one of those!?!

Anyway cool shuttles aside I have an A.J.

I mean it kind of looks like him from a distance, Ben Affleck I mean… if you squint.  It’s just a weird figurine, it’s large (12 inch I think – use the bloody metric system already) and made of a soft kind of plastic and just doesn’t really resemble the actual costume.

Source: http://www.ketzer.com/original_movie_props/

There are similarities to the screen costume but that’s like saying that The Real Ghostbusters were similar to the film versions, yeah I suppose but not really at the same time.  The weirdest thing about the toy is its hands, they were obviously sculpted for another which wasn’t supposed to be wearing gloves because A.J.s tough space gloves have fingernails and knuckle skin lines. Once you notice that it can’t be unseen or forgotten.  Seriously that seems really lazy and surely the designer couldn’t have sat down and gone “bah who’ll notice something like that!?!?”.

Well me obviously.

The helmet comes off and remains attached to the body by the bright yellow cable for no reason I can tell because the head twists unnaturally and frankly the helmet itself was the only thing obscuring the face scult enough to make you buy it as Affleck from three metres away.

A.J. comes with an accessory though that should be a giant selling point but it isn’t.

He comes with a thermonuclear weapon. A vaguely accurate one too in the sculpt though it’s all one colour on the casing which makes it incredibly boring.  You can crack the casing open to reveal the inner nuclear core (which I expect is slightly less accurate) and if you close it all up and twist the little winder the device will shudder and then split open revealing the inner core!!!

Yup.

The cheapest home nuclear explosion ever special effect.

I have no idea why this has kicked around my house for so long.  If I can find the nuclear device I’m going to sell him on eBay… given long enough I’ll probably try and offload him without the nuclear device and chuck it (responsively of course) in the bin.

Just take a look at this face:

Seriously who would you say this looks like?!?

Let me know who you think that looks like in the comments and can you out-lame this figurine (photos or it doesn’t count).

6 thoughts on “Lame toys I own: AJ from Armageddon

  1. I can out-lame this, I have a couple of “Annoying Things”. One is mounted on a spring and has an electronic button that makes that terrible noise. Thankfully the batteries are now flat and I do not intend replacing them. It lives in the office near my Artoo Potatoo, Spud Trooper and Darth Tater.

    The other “Annoying Thing” is a plush toy with a voice box. Not sure quite where it is, and I am not off to locate it. WIth luck it got lost during our last house move!

    I also have a South Park Kyle motion censored bobble head. It was more annoying than the “Annoying Thing” as it would randomly go off multiple times saying “Sick dude I’m not kissing a girl”. Try explaining that to a meeting when on a work call. Kyle now lives in the cupboard and has been silent since his relocation.

    • I had the alien from Independence Day on the top of the refrigerator and it was also motion activated but only by my wife. It would more often than not ignore me completely.

      Actually on that fridge I also had a gorilla that would dance and sing the macarena -- I miss that gorilla something awful.

  2. well…. the lame figurine kinda reminds me of James Garner, but with an elongated face lol

    lame toys… I don’t think I have many left, but I did find a strawberry shortcake figurine while we were moving

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