I’ve mentioned it on more than one occasion that I’m starting to suffer slightly from a little bit of zombie overkill (is that even a pun that I need to acknowledge and apologise for?). I mean I still find zombies entertaining for the most part, Zombieland is pretty much the greatest zombie film ever but the idea of re-writing Jane Austin books to feature zombies seems like a little too much of a stretch for me.
And so the other night when the remake of Dawn of the Dead was on TV I sat down to watch a couple of minutes as I had never actually seen the start even though I’ve seen the end a bunch of times.
Something struck me again, I say again because I’ve noted it in the past and am only now getting around to writing about it.
Whatever happened to the slow zombie?
I mean these dudes have died, reanimated and are now running faster than your average Olympian? They’re climbing over stuff and chasing people down, smashing windows and hunting people.
I don’t like this at all.
I mean with the original zombies in the 1968 Night of the Living Dead it was the idea of the oppressive mass of zombies that was terrifying. Had those zombies been the ones from Resident Evil or 28 Days Later or even the new(ish) Dawn of the Dead then Barbara and Ben would have died a lot earlier.
The other thing that I think I dislike about the current breed of fast zombies is that I would have no chance of surviving in that world. You get caught in a room with one of those bastards and you want to have some mad combat skills and I don’t work well under pressure, I freak out in video games!!!
Seriously, the old Super Nintendo Jurassic Park game which had you walking through Wolfenstein like corridors hoping that a pixelated Velociraptor wasn’t right around the corner had me sweating. Imagine what the graphics of today’s gaming consoles does to me (I bought Bioshock the other day in the hopes of overcoming this).
So when faced with a mutant zombie that can out run me and doesn’t care unless I put a pool cue through his head I’m not going to do so well in an enclosed space. I don’t even think it’s a fair fight.
Dracula can’t come out in the daylight, Gillman sticks to the Black Lagoon, the Mummy… oh god don’t get me started on the Mummy remakes, he shouldn’t be running around either but traditionally he just ambles along and Frankenstein’s monster hates fire and old mills.
What do these new zombies hate? What’s their disadvantage? It’s like being in a room with Cugo (that’s a giant rabid dog for those young ones) there’s nothing you can do apart from take its head off and that’s not so easy with the olympic brain eaters!
I call on Hollywood to do the right thing and return my slow moving clumping zombies so at least at night when I’m contemplating zombie apocalypse I feel like I got a chance!
PS: If they are faithful to the novel World War Z I should get my slow moving zombies back, same with The Walking Dead TV series!
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24 Responses to “Where did all the slow zombies go?”
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well I voted for the slow-and-purposefull zombies..
Fast zombies are just not zombies in my eyes..something different.
Shaun of the Dead?
By the way, you'll love Bioshock. The mutter-mutterings of wandering Splicers or the thump of Big Daddies walking the corridors when they're out of sight really raises the tension!
I agree. I've never liked fast zombies. If they are faster and more agile than people, there is no survival (thinking zombies are the worst). Now, I'd buy a bunch of zombies that start fast (as the diabolical energies that power them overload all the systems) and then get slower as their bodies begin to degrade.
That said, I'm very tired of zombies anymore. I'm in zombie overload. Except for the best zombie-based card game EVER.
You should read up on the Marvel comic Zombies. They retain their superhero abilities.
You should read up on the Marvel comic Zombies. They retain their superhero abilities.
The saying used to go that one was 'walking around like a zombie' and it would indicate that someone was shell shocked etc.
Funny enough now I like to be walking around like a zombie if you look at some of these new versions!!
That's right Shaun of the Dead does have the slow moving zombies.
I don't need to hear that re: Bioshock!!!
I know you mean. Did you see Deadset? It was/iss on SBS monday nights. It's what happens if there is a zombie outbreak during Big Brother. Super fast zombies though. Are they making a Walking Dead tv series?? Man I hope so, thats one of my favorite comics.
Simon Pegg wrote a piece for The Guardian I believe critiquing a British zombie miniseries for following the long trend of fast zombies… he is not a fan of that convention, nosirreebob.
When I think of fast zombies done well, I think of Return of the Living Dead…. because there were slow ones too. But they were nigh invincible too… think about that one… fast zombies that you couldn't kill… their body parts stayed animated and destroying the brain didn't work. And it was in a comedic horror movie. (And if you saw the movie, the situation was EVEN worse than THAT!)
Yea the way they shuffle up slowly in increasing numbers is what make them so scary!
I have a lot of time for Simon Pegg, I generally like his way of thinking and of course being a member of the new Enterprise crew certainly doesn't hurt his appeal in my eyes
Yeah I think you can get away with it in those Return films because they are played for laughs and the zombies are semi intelligent (about as intelligent as people which isn't saying too much), I remember one of them picking up the radio and asking for them to send more cops
In the comic book series The Walking Dead there are zombies that haven't eaten in ages and are just lying on the ground unable to muster up the energy. It takes a long time though.
In World War Z the zombies get frozen in winter and defrost to become dangerous again – highly recommend The Walking Dead.
I liked the first couple of series of Marvel Zombies but it really nuked the fridge when it had a cover of Iron Man riding a giant eagle: http://quityourdayjob.com.au/2009/09/zombie-iro...
No, everyone is raving about Deadset but I couldn't be bothered, zombie films whilst I like the idea often aren't my first choice to watch.
Yes apparently they are making a Walking Dead tv series, no idea when though.
I saw Planet Terror yesterday, a bad movie on purpose, it was really fun to watch. Things happening sooooooooo predictably and lines you could hear coming and hack and slashing of zombie-like humans over the top made it a good laugh.
I think that to some degree that is probably what they are going for in Planet Terror, they admittedly I've yet to actually sit and watch it!!!
I finally saw Zombieland so I am able to comment. I agree, where are the days of slow dum Zombies? They are supposed to be reanimated flesh without the ability to think or reason – they are not alive. Reanimated flesh should not have the coordination to run let alone climb the tower of terror. I enjoyed Zombieland and apart from extreme frustration at 'Bill' playing a 'practical joke' in the middle of a zombie apocalypse it is at the top of my favourite zombie movies (that will remain open pending World War Z release when they can decided on a director). Of course Undead – a Aussie interpretation of zombie-ness (which I am biased towards as my claim to fame is that I went to acting school with all the lead actors) has maintained the zombie slowness. If you haven't seen Undead, it is worth a watch for slow zombie action and supporting local Brisbane actors etc. Anyway… I want to say 'back in the good old days' zombies were slow and reanimated flesh, but anyone who has READ I am legend will be confronted with not only fast moving zombies, but zombies that can talk and evolve into fully functioning humans. If you are a true zombie fan, read I am legend for the real story – the movie was a mile and a half from it and missed the entire meaning of the book and the words 'I am Legend'. Ok, I should get my own blog or sign off. As I am lazy, I will sign off
I actually I may correct myself as in I am Legend the creatures are almost a hybrid between a vampire and a zombie… don't mind me. Just read the book.
The I am legend (the novel) creatures are actually vampires who are repelled by garlic etc and not zombies, the novel though influenced zombie godfather George A. Romero who developed his zombies with a similar feel (though not fast). I fail to understand why they changed this in the movie (either movie – the original with Vincent Price I believe sticks to the novel).
I enjoyed Undead, I saw it on SBS, whilst there were certainly a tongue in cheek flavour it was still quite well made!
Oh and BTW you are welcome to rant etc anytime here
guest blogger??
Awww crap – ignore what I just wrote, you said so here already!!!!
The I am legend (the novel) creatures are actually vampires who are repelled by garlic etc and not zombies, the novel though influenced zombie godfather George A. Romero who developed his zombies with a similar feel (though not fast). I fail to understand why they changed this in the movie (either movie – the original with Vincent Price I believe sticks to the novel).
I enjoyed Undead, I saw it on SBS, whilst there were certainly a tongue in cheek flavour it was still quite well made!
Oh and BTW you are welcome to rant etc anytime here
guest blogger??
Awww crap – ignore what I just wrote, you said so here already!!!!