I have a rule regarding travelling overseas, if they’ve made a movie about giant spiders or Ebola coming from there I don’t go there. Of course having never actually travelled overseas does not negate the fact that thus far I have not:
- been eaten or attacked by a giant spider
- died from Ebola
So this rule has worked out pretty well for me so far and with an established success rate I figure I can extend this to include real estate.
Here thanks to popular culture are five places that I would never live:
- Near a corn field – nothing ever good happens in corn fields except maybe the growing of corn, but I hear that’s rare and aliens or children are more likely to show up.
- Elm Street, Crystal Lake or Texas – I know that generally the events depicted in movies didn’t actually happen in the real equivalents of these places, but really I’m just not taking the risk.
- With gypsies – sure some gypsies make chocolate and look like Johnny Depp and really I have nothing against them, but movies and books have made it clear that there are other gypsies that put curses on you and you turn into werewolves or vampires with souls, I don’t need that.
- In old mansions – they are always built on top of Indian burial grounds or are haunted or have university students wandering around… yuck.
- Near or under famous land marks – when the asteroids/aliens smack into stuff it is always somewhere famous like the Eiffel tower or the Sydney Opera House. Sure it looks pretty but when your house is a giant crater in the ground you’ll wish that you lived somewhere that wouldn’t be featured on a postcard.
I’ve printed these rules up in a handy card to give to real estate agents when discussing property, sure they’ll give you a weird look but at least I won’t wind up living some place with a dude in an ice hockey mask with a machete leaves empty coke cans in my front yard!
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