I have a rule regarding travelling overseas, if they’ve made a movie about giant spiders or Ebola coming from there I don’t go there. Of course having never actually travelled overseas does not negate the fact that thus far I have not:
- been eaten or attacked by a giant spider
- died from Ebola
So this rule has worked out pretty well for me so far and with an established success rate I figure I can extend this to include real estate.
Here thanks to popular culture are five places that I would never live:
- Near a corn field – nothing ever good happens in corn fields except maybe the growing of corn, but I hear that’s rare and aliens or children are more likely to show up.
- Elm Street, Crystal Lake or Texas – I know that generally the events depicted in movies didn’t actually happen in the real equivalents of these places, but really I’m just not taking the risk.
- With gypsies – sure some gypsies make chocolate and look like Johnny Depp and really I have nothing against them, but movies and books have made it clear that there are other gypsies that put curses on you and you turn into werewolves or vampires with souls, I don’t need that.
- In old mansions – they are always built on top of Indian burial grounds or are haunted or have university students wandering around… yuck.
- Near or under famous land marks – when the asteroids/aliens smack into stuff it is always somewhere famous like the Eiffel tower or the Sydney Opera House. Sure it looks pretty but when your house is a giant crater in the ground you’ll wish that you lived somewhere that wouldn’t be featured on a postcard.
I’ve printed these rules up in a handy card to give to real estate agents when discussing property, sure they’ll give you a weird look but at least I won’t wind up living some place with a dude in an ice hockey mask with a machete leaves empty coke cans in my front yard!
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16 Responses to “Five places I would never live thanks to popular culture”
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I can think of a few more.
6. With Bedouin. These guys have old tents, goats, a box to sit on and coffee making equipment. That’s it. Nothing else, not even a bathroom or any electricity. Man, I’d go stir crazy.
7. In a pyramid. Really weird stuff goes on in or near these structures. You’d be forever wondering how it was built. The only advantage they have is your razor would never go blunt.
8. In abandoned underground railway stations. Nothing good ever happens here, your leather shoes would grow mouldy and all the horror film production installations would keep you awake at night.
Wow Margaret I had no idea what Bedouin were until you mentioned there here and I had to go look it up in wikipedia so as not to sound dumb (which of course I have now ruined by admitting this… doh!).
You are right about the pyramids too, if it isn’t parasitic aliens posing as gods landing on them there are wrecking ball endowed giant robots smashing up the joint. Of course the pyramids do fall under my rule #5.
I’ll counter the underground railway station though with the fact that the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles live in one… then again they were in TMNT2… Oh the humanity!!
you know you live in a country with lots of poisonous spiders don’t you…
Arjan´s last blog ..Good and bad news
Redbacks and funnel webs are fairly unpleasant but I’m more concerned about size eg: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmXqp-0p-48
Awww, I wanted to mention the Living in the Land of Poison Creatures thing
There is something to be said for being able to see a spider coming…
And by the way, dude, I’ve seen “Roadgames”, the Outback ain’t got nuthin’ on Texas
arkonbey´s last blog ..Meep Meep
What you talking about. Of course you’ve been overseas. You LIVE overseas.
Dan´s last blog ..A bit of reflection
Pffft Limey.
The cornfield in Field Of Dreams would be OK. You’d be living next to cool, baseball playing ghosts.
Rol´s last blog ..The New Ten Commandments Of Driving
They’d keep you up at all hours of the night, bloody ghosts.
Your logic seems perfectly sound to me and I have chosen to adopt your list along with some of the suggestions in the comments. You can never be too cautious when it comes to your choice of residence. However, I think living with a few zombies or ghosts isn’t as bad as some make it out to be.
Tony´s last blog ..Strange Tales of Motorcycle Madness
Dude don’t tell the real estate agent that though because they’ll try and push some haunted zombie house onto you if you even hint that you can put up with a few undead!!
You know, Australia is on this list for me… the vicious animals (I am afraid a koala would sneak in and eat the skin off my face one night), the roving gangs of maniacs in black leather fighting over oil, random encounters with colorful nature guides and gals who are totally into ABBA and don’t get me started on the horror that seems to be Waltzing Matilda… it seems like a nightmare really.
If you weren’t terrified before you would be after watching this:
http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi3606839577/
Actually I don’t even vaguely recommend that at all!
You forgot my backyard.
I haven’t set foot in it since the attack of the vicious gumtree spitting caterpillars…
Jayne´s last blog ..Slide night, bring a plate!
Were they zombie caterpillars?
Lee, it’s not the undead I am afraid of. They are not nearly the sordid lot that the press makes them out to be. Well, most of them aren’t. They are a few rotten apples in every bushel.
Tony´s last blog ..Twouble with Twitters