Talking about the equipment featured in Stargate SG1 got me thinking a little about Star Trek and the everyday technology they take for granted in the show that we would find absolutely amazing.
One of the stand outs in Star Trek’s arsenal of super tech is probably the transporter beam. Not a month goes past that I don’t read a story somewhere about how scientists are closer to creating an actual transporter just like in Star Trek.
Frankly I think they should give it all away and focus on something else more important such hoverboards or self lacing Nikes that aren’t made by some poor kid in a third world country. Because even if they work out how to do it, even if science gets so advanced that they can build it, even if they eliminate all flies on the planet so as not to have an unfortunate incident* they still shouldn’t do it.
* the unfortunate incident
Like Ian Malcolm says in Jurassic Park:
“Yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should.”
There is no way that they should build a transporter, the reason being is that no doubt due to the efficiency of such a device it would become a mass transit system and people aren’t likely to have transporter pads in every house, heck even in Star Trek Kirk still has to duck down the road from his apartment to get beamed up.
So then we would have transporter stations, most likely modelled off of our current train stations or bus centres.
Now think about the organisations that currently run our equivalent facilities.
Do you want people who can barely get a train to run on time deconstructing you at a molecular level and then shooting you across the planet?
Really?
I mean it’s not going to be things like your so called smart card ticketing systems double charging you because the clouds looked a little different today. You’ll show up at the other station with only one ear and then see how much customer service you get! Worse still think about how frustrating it is when a bus doesn’t show up, now imagine you not showing up!!!
Humanity, and by humanity I mean public transport employees are going to have to become a heck more evolved before I let them scatter my atoms across the universe (and still manage to double charge my smart card).
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13 Responses to “It doesn’t matter how awesome science gets, the Star Trek transporter will never be”
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Yikes I could see it now. End result would be more hilarious ‘body swap’ style movies out of Hollywood – except then it would probably be, genital swapping or something scary.
I think Spaceballs covered that off
You make some excellent points. I’ve put a lot of thought into this as well. Very little good can come of it. The smallest malfunction is a major problem. Transit employees would have to be rocket scientists, and paid appropriately. When things go wrong, counseling would need to be involved. It’s just an expensive proposition. Plus then there is the terrorist threat, and use of the technology by governments as a weapon (just beam what you don’t like into space). It’s almost mundane in its Star Trek use, but it’s really mind-bogglingly powerful technology.
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you’re beam anything you want idea must be solved by a Stargate Shield like in Stargate…then you’ll have to have transpondersignals etc..
I won’t use it for the first year after it becomes affordable just to see how many accidents will happen. The lost ear department is going to be a problem when they start calling for the next number in line..(yes I know they’ve got screens which show the number..don’t kill my story!)
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The transporter can generally put you done anywhere so the iris thing from Stargate wouldn’t really help, makes breaking into Fort Knox a little easier
I was thinking that they’d probably give you phone number to call regarding lost ears
I have a bigger issue with the replicator from TNG and its implications – I think there may be a post in this.
When you put it like that, then no, a transporter isn’t that cool. They had transporters on The Tomorrow People (maybe a bit before your time) and I would close my eyes and just ‘will’ myslef to disappear to somewhere else and would be so disappointed when I opened my eyes and was in the same place.
But I tell you, transporters would lower travel prices to overseas, less pollution as we are not in planes… the Greens may run with the idea.
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There is also the problem of travelling faster than the speed of light and what it does in regards to time distortion etc – I’m not really sure what the range of the transporter is but it always appears to be instantaneous transportation which then would have ramifications regarding time.
What I am reading into that entire piece there is that you got screwed with a “Go” card, didn’t you? Those things are quite possibly the biggest con job ever hoisted upon a gullible public.
My suggestion for solving the public transport woes of the world is simple. Everytime a bus, or train, or aircraft is late due to the efficiency demands placed upon them by middle and upper managers, who, as a general rule, spend most of their time shackling labour and efficiency with cost control, and painting over these inefficiencies with often expensive and pointless advertisements telling you how great the service is, in a vain attempt to control the minds of the general population and validate their pointless and ridiculous business model, that they, the middle and upper managers, will have one of their kind randomly chosen, taken out back, and shot through the back of the head.
Then we will see buses and trains running to a precise and exacting schedule.
No more problems with the Go card than usual
Actually I think it might be an interesting exercise to make upper management take public transport and see how quickly things change.
I actually saw one of the upper managers standing around at the Roma street busway once – So very helpfully directing buses and passengers. Basically, making a complete nuisance of themselves, and this bus pulled up that was absolutely pissing water vapour from its radiator. The look on his face was absolutely priceless. That was in the days before the purchase of private transport, which I now use for every trip. Just got absolutely sick to death of waiting around half the day waiting for a bus or train to pull up.
If people are having moral issues with cloning now, think about the religious ramifications of simultaneously destroying and creating life.
It’s certainly a different but accurate way of describing the process. I’ve always wondered especially regarding the TNG transporter why not after someone dies you couldn’t just rematerialise them from their last trip through the transporter?